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kevnmcd
02-04-2003, 08:13 AM
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.? It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eye-lashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.? The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
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THOR
02-04-2003, 09:03 AM
http://www.lasvegashotboats.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif http://www.lasvegashotboats.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif http://www.lasvegashotboats.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/laugh.gif

BADFISH II
02-04-2003, 09:11 AM
http://www.lasvegashotboats.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif

RiverLife
02-04-2003, 08:28 PM
That was hilarious! Good one Kev.
Here's another one in keeping with the same, "women in heaven" theme:

Four very religious women die and are standing at the pearly gates when St. Peter asks them to confess their sins before entering. The first woman says, "I have looked at a penis before." St. Peter says, "Well, close your eyes and say 5 hale maries while I pour holy water over your eyes." The second woman steps up and says, "I have touched a penis before!" St. Peter has her cleanse her hands in the holy water while saying 10 hale maries. About that time the fourth woman starts pushing her way past the third woman and says, "Whoa, I see where this is going, I'm going next." St. Peter looks at her a bit confused as to why she is so anxious and the woman says, "Look, if you think I'm going to gargle that water, after she sticks her ASS in it, YOU'RE CRAZY !!"

kevnmcd
02-04-2003, 08:36 PM
ha, ha, ha http://www.lasvegashotboats.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif